So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
