ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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