It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
