i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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