erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
