I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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