u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
