and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
