You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
