I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
