Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
