he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
