My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
