so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
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I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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