Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
