Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
