Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
