Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
