But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
