East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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