Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
