Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
