Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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