You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
