I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
