yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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