Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
