new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
