You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
