the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
