You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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