It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
