Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
