I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
