the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
