Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
