real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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