Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
