I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
