those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
