I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
