Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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