hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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