I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
