Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
