We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
