This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
