Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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