are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Bring me that man meat
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
