btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
