What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
