My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize