Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
