Porn is love you can see.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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