This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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