Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
