The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
