He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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