she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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