i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
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I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
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