I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
