One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
