Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
